


You are not alone

by my_monsters_are_real



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25988701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_monsters_are_real/pseuds/my_monsters_are_real
Summary: Five doesn't like to be taken care of, but Allison doesn't care.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 122





	You are not alone

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue, so I'm sorry for mistakes.
> 
> Timeline is the second season, about six days before the Apocalypse.
> 
> The second season delighted in warm family moments between the Hargreeves, but I want more. I need more Ellison's interaction with Five, and I wanted someone to take care of the old grumbler. As a result, this work appeared :)
> 
> This was not in the canon, but let's pretend it did. Ellison, who is in the hideout after an altercation with Ray, and Five, who returned after another assassins attack him from the Commission.
> 
> The words in the epigraph are lines from the song "You are not alone" by the group "Eagles".

_Say goodbye to all your blue tomorrows_  
_Now you're standing in the light._  
_You are not alone._

  
Tick tock. Tick tock. The clock rang at four in the afternoon.

Allison sat on the couch with her legs tucked under her. Her eyes were closing - the consequences of an almost sleepless night affected. But as soon as she closed her eyes, she again heard the sound of boots hitting Ray's body, saw the blood on his face, again felt the vile feeling of helplessness paralyze every cell.

She shuddered. No. The last thing in the world was she wanted to sleep now.

Allison rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily, taking advantage of the fact that no one had seen her. She was very tired. Everything collapsed too suddenly, destroying the calm life built with such difficulty. The appearance of Klaus, Luther, all the rest of their crazy family, another end of the world, a failed protest and... and Ray.

"What did you say to the policeman?"

Hands clenched into fists, and a dull pain echoed in her chest. The fear that was so clear in Ray's voice made everything inside curl up into a tight knot that prevented her from breathing normally. He hated her. He was afraid of her. He despised her. Allison was disgusting to herself - and even the realization that she had no choice left did not help at all.

Shit. Allison drew in a noisy breath. She didn't want to cry right here, in front of her brother. She didn't want to show him her weakness - his bad example was contagious.

"Allison"...

"Yes?"

“I didn't want it all happened by this way. I'm sorry. I… knew that something might go wrong and I risked all of you very much. But then I had no other choice. Do you understand? I couldn't let you die... again".

Allison knew that his brother had seen their dead bodies in the distant future and that the memory of it still hadn't let him go. All these two years, she had a glimmer of hope in her that her family was alive. Five didn't even have that.

"I don't blame you. You did the best you could".

“It’s my fault that I separated you from your daughter. But I will bring you back to her. I promise".

Claire's mention was the final blow. Unbidden hot tears started ran down Allison's cheeks. She all this time was desperately trying not to think about her daughter, left somewhere there, infinitely far away. Perhaps she died in the ruins of a destroyed world alone, because her mother did not have time to be around. Two years. For two years Allison thought she would never return to Claire... and then Five appeared. She didn’t even have time to rejoice when her brother told about the new end of the world. He gave hope and immediately took it away.

She ruined everything. Again.

Allison sighed loudly and abruptly got up from the sofa. The room around her seemed to become larger, starting to press from all sides, and Allison seemed to herself very small and alone in this huge empty room. An unpleasant chill ran through her skin. She didn't want to be alone.

The brothers and Vanya weren't at home, each busy with their own business, only Elliot, the eccentric owner of the apartment, remained in the house, but Allison did not want to bother him. She'd better just go out and walk a little. Locked in four walls, she was already starting to go crazy.

Allison was already halfway to the front door when suddenly a familiar pop was heard nearby. Five appeared in the room. As usual, he did not even look around, purposefully moving towards the table littered with papers. He did not notice the sister standing next to him. Allison just snorted: nothing else was expected from her brother.

However, something in Five's movements struck Ellison as odd, and she paused to look more closely. The brother was all covered with mud or burning, and walked, falling on his left leg. There was a trail of blood on his right cheek, and it became uncomfortable to think that Allison didn’t know if it belonged to the Five... or someone else.

"Shit!" Five unexpectedly stumbled and, falling on his left leg, quietly hissed in pain. But after a second he teleported directly to the table and began to rummage through the documents as if nothing had happened.

Allison's heart ached. She knew that her brother didn’t need anyone’s help, but it’s one thing to know, and another thing to see a thirteen-year-old child return injured, God knows from where. And it doesn't matter that in fact Five has long outgrown each of his brothers and sisters.

"Five... are you okay?"

He just nodded, continuing to stare at the papers. For him, it was as if the rest of the world did not exist, and usually Allison tried not to disturb her brother at such moments. But now she cautiously approached from the side, peering into the his pale face. Five looked awfully, but she would not have dared to tell him about it. Her brother hated it when someone was too protective of him.

"Five? You have blood. On the face"

Five glanced reluctantly at his sister and quickly wiped his cheek with his sleeve. It didn't help much, it only smeared the blood even more. The sleeve was soaked by blood, apparently, Five was wounded, but he himself did not seem to notice it. Allison thought sadly that he might well be dying and not even pay attention to it, because "Apocalypse is more important." Like when he fell right in front of her eyes, saying nothing about the huge shard in his side. Five always said that the others would not survive without him, but at the same time he himself needed supervision, self-destructively ignoring his own problems.

"Are you hurt?"

“No,” Five's voice was clearly irritated. He looked angrily at his sister. "I am busy right now. Could you, please, not bother me, unless, of course, you want to painfully die in the Apocalypse, which will come very soon, if you don’t stop distracting me?"

“Okay, okay,” Allison raised her hands in a conciliatory manner and walked away from Five. Sometimes he became completely unbearable, and it was hard to restrain herself and not give him a slap. A self-confident little asshole who has to deal with everything alone.

"So stay here alone."

If he didn’t want to accept her help, okay, she simply will not disturb him. Allison looked around at her brother. Five seemed to immediately forget about his sister, frowning and studying the photographs. Very boring person. Allison grunted and went into the kitchen. A light cocktail is just what she needs. This time without alcohol, her last drinking with Klaus was enough.

Although the prospect of forgetting about everything was very, very tempting.

When she returned to the living room, Five was still standing by the table, seeming not even moving. Allison shook her head. He is a stubborn ram. She wanted to pass by him, when suddenly she heard a sharp knock. Five slammed his fist on the table, swore, and then sat down in a chair with his hands in his hair. Despair was evident in his entire posture.

Allison froze. She knew that when she approached her brother, she would most likely receive another batch of stinging ridicule. But now she simply could not walk past him.

"Five?.."

It was so strange to keep calling him a serial number. As if she each time returned to childhood, from which all her life she tried to escape.

"What do you want?"

Five's eyes were red, with dark circles underneath. The teen's body was not as resilient as an adult's, but Five continued to drink tons of coffee and ignore normal sleep patterns. And normal life patterns. All that interested him now was the new Apocalypse. Allison belatedly wondered if he had slept at all since the last time they saw each other. Years passed for her, while for him only a few days.

“We… we will stop this. We will save the world" it sounded not very confident. Allison had no idea how to talk to her brother or what words to use. He didn't need her consolation. He didn't seem to need anyone at all.

"Like that time?" Five asked sarcastically, leaning back on the back of the sofa. “If you haven't forgotten, then it ended up we… you were stuck in the past and a new Doomsday began".

Allison sat down beside him, trying to ignore her brother's annoyed look.

"But we survived. And... and we will definitely think of something".

"Yes of course".

Five closed his eyes wearily. He was clearly weighed down by the whole conversation, but Allison did not want to leave. She hoped that her brother would not disappear into one of his dimensional portals, as he liked to do. He has not seen her for forty-five years, she has not seen him for almost nineteen. They had unfairly little time together to even just to talk.

"Tell me, what ... what have you been doing all this time?"

"What time?"

"Well, for now... while we were all in the past".

Five opened his eyes and looked at Allison with a strange expression. She involuntarily shivered under his gaze, heavy gaze.

"I was in the new Apocalypse".

Pain was carefully concealed in his green eyes. Allison knew that look: she'd gotten used to it while being living side by side with the rest of the Hargreeves. Stubborn fools who never spoke openly about their feelings.

"There ... there was an explosion of a nuclear bomb?.."

"Yes. As I already said, if, of course, someone was listening to me".

Five smiled contemptuously. He seemed to have completely lost interest in the conversation, believing that Allison was not worthy of his attention. And that was familiar too. Five always considered himself better than the rest, keeping aloof, and over the years he became even more unbearable. How can she help someone who didn't want it? How to catch someone who was constantly running away? Five had returned, but Allison felt like he was still not here. Not with them. Not with her.

"I will not bother you".

She decided to leave Five alone with his dark thoughts. She didn’t want to leave, the company of even such a nasty harmful man was much better than loneliness, but Ellison no longer wanted to test her brother’s patience.

"I'm"…

Five did not finish his speach, stumbling over the first word. There was something in his voice that made Allison flinch. The green eyes that looked at her were not childish at all. She remembered how that look had been seventeen years ago, when her brother was really thirteen: then he looked completely differently. Arrogant, annoying, like now, but then there was life in his gaze. Now, as if there was nothing left in him but endless emptiness and fatigue. Something very important had broken inside her brother, and Alisson didn't know if it could ever be fixed.

"You all died again. There. In the new Apocalypse".

Allison shuddered. Involuntarily, she reached out with her palm to her brother's hand lying on the sofa, but hastily pulled herself back. Five would not understand this. Emotions and sentiments are not about him.

"How?.. How did it happen?"

She tried to control the tremor in her own voice. Not every day you find out exactly how you should die.

"You were covered with an explosion. I… think it happened quickly".

"Do you think?"

"Yes. I... I wasn't there. I had to leave to find you in the past and try to fix everything".

Allison did not know how to answer Five to his bitter confession. She was confused. The events of recent days have been too unexpected and unsettling. Just yesterday, she was sitting with her husband in the living room and watching TV, and today she spoke with her brother who returned from the post-apocalyptic future and who again predicted the death of the whole world.

Her head was spinning. Allison got up and began pacing the room nervously. Five was also silent, probably regretting that he had begun this conversation at all.

"I have to go", - Five finally broke the silence and resolutely got up from the sofa. Allison immediately woke up from her thoughts and ran to her brother, blocking his path. She did not want to let him go - wounded, lost, somewhere in the unknown, where someone else was probably hunting him.

Five sighed in annoyance and rubbed his forehead wearily.

“You know I can just teleport?"

"Yes. But I hope you won't".

"Why?"

“Well, if only because you're hurt".

"What?" - Five uncomprehendingly followed the direction of Allison's gaze, looked at his hand and immediately shrugged his shoulder in irritation. - "This is nonsense. I have to hurry".

He started to move forward, but Allison put her hands gently on his shoulders. It's so funny that now physically she was stronger than him, a hardened killer, who always literally shone from the realization of his own superiority over the rest.

"And also because I ask you to stay".

Judging by the fierce look that her brother gave her, this was not an argument at all for him.

“You cannot stop the end of the world alone".

“Of course, if I’m constantly distracted,” Five responded venomously, but remained where he was. Probably really tired, since he allowed himself to chat. He was all hunched over somehow, trying not to lean on his sore leg. Allison just shook her head mentally. He was so stubborn.

"If you share your thoughts with me, perhaps I will help you in something".

On the face of Five one could clearly read something like "for this you must at least be able to think", but for some reason he did not say anything out loud. Instead, he broke free from his sister's grasp and disappeared, evaporating into a bluish haze.

Shit.

Allison sighed, lowering her arms. What else did she expect? That Five would suddenly got emotional and talk to her heart to heart? It would be too naive. And not in the spirit of this eternally disgruntled old man.

She sank back down on the sofa and looked longingly at wall clock. Evening will soon come and the streets will darken. People will go home, to their families, to warmth and comfort. Ray was probably at home by now... sitting in front of the TV. One. What did he think of her? And did he think about her at all? Maybe he decided to erase their marriage from his memory forever, as a huge mistake in his life? This thought alone burned her from within, forcing her to clench her fists painfully. It was unbearable to think about it. Allison involuntarily put her arms around her shoulders. It was getting lonely again.

She wanted someone would come back sooner.

Elliot suddenly looked into the room, asked if anything was needed, and, having received a negative answer, hastened to leave. Allison smiled involuntarily. Funny guy with quirks, she liked him. It seems that he was afraid of strangers who appeared in his house, but at the same time he was insanely happy because them all. Allison hoped that he would not be harmed because giving refuge to their strange family. They've lost too many already. Too, too many.

"Are you still here? How interesting".

Allison shuddered. Five materialized right next to her, staring insolently and grinning.

"What did you expect? Klaus along with his entire cult? Today they are busy, doing... honestly, only devil knows what they are doing, I'm not even sure that I want to represent it".

Five shook his head and smiled again, only this smile turned out to be very sad. Now he suddenly looked very much like a living person, and not like a stone statue without emotion. Something fluttered in Allison's heart.

"Why did you come back?"

"The clue didn't lead to anything".

"Have you already… checked it?"

“Yes, -” Five shrugged, as if there was nothing surprising about it. - "Anything is possible for someone who knows how to manage time".

"And that's why we're stuck in 1963", Allison wanted to say, but stopped herself in time. She did not want to upset Five even more, especially since if it were not for him, they would all have perished in their 2019. It is not his fault that it happened. Being stuck in the past is a better prospect than being dead.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know".

Five said nothing more, continuing to study the floor with concentration. Silence fell, broken only by the measured beat of the clock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Allison was left alone again.

The obsessive thoughts,that she tried hard to drive away, returned. She's so tired. More than anything else, she wanted to return home, but were they waiting for her there? Could she now call that place her home? Allison remembered the day Patrick had chased her away, and her throat caught in thorns, which made it painful to breathe. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes. Everything was repeated. She could not escape from herself even in another time, destroying everything again. Perhaps she simply did not deserve the right to a happy life. For "superheroes" it was an unaffordable luxury.

"You promised to get to know her, so now you will not get away. And no Apocalypse will prevent this" - Allison's voice trembled. She didn't know who she wanted to convince more now - her brother or herself.

Five was silent, but Allison weren't waiting for an answer. She quickly wiped away her tears, hoping that her brother would not notice, and took a deep breath. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. This is not the time to be sad. Five was right. They still had to save the world.

Allison turned to her brother. He sat hunched over and still looking somewhere at his feet. He looked very tired. Too much happened with Five, and he persisted in trying to cope with it on his own. Even though he was now surrounded by his family, forty-five years of loneliness cannot be erased from memory. Five was used to relying only on himself, and this was not easy to fix. Although… Allison could do something for him right now. If, of course, he would want to accept her help.

"Wait a bit".

"What?"

But Allison ignored the question. She silently walked to the first aid kit Elliot had obligingly told about the previous day. A standard kit without any special medicines is not at all the first-aid kits that their father forced them to collect. At home they had an impressive collection of medicines "for real superheroes." Unfortunately, they had to be used quite often. Another reason why their childhood was so shitty.

"Give me your hand".

Allison expected Five to get angry and say he didn't need someone else's pity, but instead he suddenly grinned.

"It seems I look so bad that both of my sisters want to play as doctor".

Allison looked questioningly at her brother. He smiled even wider, rolling up his blood-soaked sleeve.

"About a week and a half ago, when I just returned from Post-Apocalypse, I went to see Vanya. I had to talk. Then she, too, was trying to treat me. It was funny".

Allison could not help sighing when she saw her brother's hand. The deep, crooked wound didn't look good. It looked like a knife mark... what had Five got himself into this time?

"In an amicable way, it would have to be sewn up".

"I know. I thought about doing it later".

Allison gave Five a disapproving look. How did he manage to live to such years with such an irresponsible attitude towards his health? She carefully took his hand in her palm. So childish, so small, so fragile... the wound on it looked too wrong. Allison gently washed the edges of the wound with rubbing alcohol. Five didn't even frown.

“You… did this a lot, huh?"

"Have I sew my wounds by yourself?" - Five raised his eyebrows inquiringly. "- Yes, it happened. In my profession, injuries are frequent".

"But rather real professionals can't avoid injury?"

Allison knew she was going to piss off her brother, but she was already sick of his constant self-confidence. She wanted to tease him a little.

"Of course they can. If they sit in a clean office and give orders to kill to others" - Five answered in an icy tone. Allison could hardly help smiling. It was as easy to tease brother as it was in childhood.

"God! Sorry".

This was not the first time she had sewn up someone's wound, but still her fingers trembled a little when the needle once again pierced the bloody flesh. Allison didn't want to hurt her brother.

“And you do it more confidently than Vanya,” Five said succinctly after everything was over. These were his first words of all time, and it seems even that he spoke sincerely.

"Th... thanks?" - Allison didn't know how to react to it. For some reason, it was strange to imagine a calm Vanya doing such an activity. "- Are you okay?"

Five would rather bite off his tongue than admit that something was wrong with him, but Allison couldn't help but ask.

"I'm totally okay. Thanks. Even though it was unnecessary".

Which is to be expected.

"What about your leg?"

"I'm fine. Just landed a little badly".

Allison decided not to push him. Five already allowed her what he did not allow almost anyone. She stood up and silently began to pick up the scissors and blood-stained bandages from the table. She didn't want Elliot to find all this. Of course, he had already seen a lot, but it was not worth shocking him even more.

"What happened?"

"Hired assassins".

Laconic. As always. Allison finished cleaning and carefully sat down next to her brother. Now that she was done with his hand, she was afraid that he would run away somewhere again.

"Do you want to tell me about your plans?"

"Not yet. It's not time yet".

Five's words sounded somehow absent-minded, as if he hadn't really listened to his sister, wandering his thoughts somewhere far away. He sat, erect like a string, and his gaze was directed to one point. This is not the first time this was happened.

Allison knew very well what PTSD was - "the best father in the world" taught them that too. It when the echoes of the past war continue to haunt a person in peacetime, and the ghosts of the past overtake even in reality. Five returned again and again to the Post-Apocalypse, which did not let him go.

Allison knew this, but didn't know how to help. She gently, trying not to frighten her brother, touched his shoulder. Five shuddered and looked at his sister in confusion. There was so much emptiness in his gaze that she wanted to grab Five in her arms and hug him tightly, despite the inevitable objections. He deserved to know that there were those who loved him nearby. Who missed him all these years.

"You know that... that you are not one?"

Five shook his head. He clearly wanted to say something, but again said nothing.

"Not alone".

Allison took her brother's hand in hers. His hand was cold. Five didn't react, as if he didn't care. Allison knew it wasn't. His hand she held in hers trembled faintly.

“I know you think we are all... narrow-minded,” - Allison tried to soften the wording. "- And, perhaps, we really often spoil everything, quarrel and do wrong. We are the most abnormal family in the world, but still we are a family, and we will always stand for each other to the last. Do you hear? You are not alone, Five. We are all with you. I'm with you".

He turned away. Maybe in order to Allison couldn't see the look on his face. When Five looked at his sister again, outwardly he looked completely calm.

"I know it. Thank you".

He stood slowly, leaning awkwardly on his good leg. Allison got up after him. She didn't let go of his hand, and Five did not escape.

"Thank you. For all. I am glad that I have a family. That I'm back. And that... I have a sister like you".

Five spoke the last words very quietly, so that Allison could hardly hear them. And then her brother disappeared again, leaving behind drops of blood on the table, a pinching feeling in her chest and emptiness in place of the hand that Allison held in her palm. He left to implement another plan to save the whole world. Allison really wanted to believe that he would not come back after a couple of hours with a bullet in his side, although it would be like him.

He will succeed. It simply could not be otherwise. This is Five. He will definitely bring them all home. And she will beside him if... when he needed. Even the most die-hard fifty-eight-year-old professional murderers in the world sometimes needed a sister. She would like to believe that he understand it himself.

Tick tock. Tick tock. The clock rang at five o'clock in the evening. There were six days before the Apocalypse.


End file.
